Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
