I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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