You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
