I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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