Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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