she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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