He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
