I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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