Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
