We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
