Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
