my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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