woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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