I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize