What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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