Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
