How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
