Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize