Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
