We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
