Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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