I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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