It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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