I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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