just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
