I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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