Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
