is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
