This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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