I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize