You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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