I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
