I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
