my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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