non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
