An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
