Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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