This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
