i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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