I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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