I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
