piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
