Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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