i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
