Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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