just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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