i just had sex bonerless
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
