I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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