i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
