words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
