tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
