I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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