We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize