I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
