dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
