I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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