in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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