So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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