wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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