Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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