I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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