can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So. Much. Porn.
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