is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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