Nicole vs. Life
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
