Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
