Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
