i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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