In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
